The Pentagon released footage of one or more UFOs. Your boy isn't 100% sure how many UFOs there were in the video, the damn thing almost made me splurnt in my terry slim sweatpants. It seemed like just yesterday everyone used to say the government is hiding aliens from us and all that jazz but now the government is releasing video saying "wtf was that". No one actually said that but you bet your sweet cheeks they sure thought it...I did and so did my bros. The navy dude in the video said "Dude this is a F***N drone bro" at 1:53 of the video. The damn thing looked like a Zucchini flying at 8000 mph, #ZucchiniGang.
Too many times we send our jets after these UFOs and they make our jets look like the lit up shoes with the wheel on the bottom, which I never had when I was a kid because my parents were mad broke...and whack. These UFOs seem to be flexing on our boys. Imagine how it would feel to be watching the radar and a flying zucchini comes across your screen.
I hope the whole butt play stories you hear are just myths from some bastards who were playing mad jokes. I don't need an alien probing my peach flaps, I will squeal in a second and will rat on the entire human race. No secret is safe with me when my next option is my biscuits are against a lightsaber. That includes all my loved ones too, no one is safe, bet.
Just four months ago all I had to worry about was hanging out and gaming with the boys. Occasionally at the bar sharing my mots sticks with the hotties next to me hoping I can score some digits. "Blam, Smack" then the news comes on and talks about Covid 19. Making me scared to share my mots sticks with not only the hotties but my own hands too. As we all know shortly after that, I couldn't even get my boys and me some mots sticks because the bar is closed. Of course, to top that off the news is starts jazzin about our government seeing UFOs. All the doomsday people are yelling to the top of their lungs "WE TOLD YOU SO"!!! Bet.